"Chuck Knocks" is back for another season, but for the first time in five years our Seahawk Opponent Training Camp Previews will live on our website. Fear not, The Feltsulator is coming with us to the website. Game by game, Jackson Felts will simulate the entire 2020 season (not sure he can take the fans out of the stands, so sorry about the lack of authenticity). I'll handle the rest...
WEEK 4: MIAMI DOLPHINS
THE INTERESTING SCALE: A+
Amazing how quickly things can change, because a year ago this franchise could not have been more drab. The Dolphins were "Tanking for Tua", literally embarking upon a full NFL season they hoped would end with the worst record in the league, trading away any player of value in exchange for improving their chances at landing the quarterback of their choice in the draft. Poor Brian Flores began his head coaching career trying to convince the media his team wasn't going to lose games purposefully. The only people Flores managed to convince were his players, who managed to win three of their last five games to seemingly ruin EVERYTHING THEY DIDN'T WORK FOR! Then--like some Christmas miracle--Tua, for whom the Dolphins tanked, blew a hip, God reached down and turned Joe Burrow into Tom Brady and, lo and behold, the team that failed at tanking for Tua ended up with fuc*ing Tua. Now that is interesting! And it doesn't tell the half of it.
THE NEW FACE AT DOLPHINS CAMP: PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY
CB Byron Jones, LB Kyle Van Noy, DE Shaq Lawson, DE Emmanuel Ogbah, RB Jordan Howard, T Ereck Flowers, S Clayton Fejedelem, C Todd Karras, LB Kamu Grugier-Hill, LB Elandon Roberts, S Adrian Colbert.
11 free agents priced at $202 million in new money, $120 million in guarantees, PLUS 11 draft picks (at one time they had 14 picks!) highlighted by Tua Tagavailoa and two other first round selections.
The Miami Dolphins have more new faces to choose from than Arya Stark. And you want me to pick one? Okay fine... Tua.
STAR OF DOLPHINS CAMP: TUA (AGAIN)
Was it worth it? All of that losing, all of that drama, to land a quarterback coming off a major injury? Tagavailoa likely won't even start, not to begin the year anyway, and yet so much of the Dolphins future will be placed on his shoulders (hip). I stand by my draft day criticisms of Miami's tanking decisions. If you were going to put your fanbase through that nonsense, the least you could have done is gone the distance. I like Tua. But I like Joe Burrow better. Miami should have made the Bengals an offer they couldn't refuse.
FANTASY PICK: DAVANTE PARKER
Quietly, Parker finished the 2019 season with over 1200 receiving yards--good for top five in the league. Parker, a former first round pick with size and speed, didn't begin last year in many FFB starting lineups, but he was certainly starting by year's end. And Parker has a good chance to build on those numbers. Grizzled veteran QB Ryan Fitzpatrick doesn't just give good press conference and sport a spectacular beardo (beard hairdo), he also finds ways to put up numbers. 3500 passing yards while his team was tanking for his replacement. Not bad.
No point looking up last year's numbers for the Dolphins. Nearly everything and everyone has changed. Miami has no doubt upgraded their talent, and you have to be impressed with Flores' coaching last year, but how do you go from tanking to preparing 30 new faces for a football season during a pandemic? Please, someone find Brian Flores and give him a hug.
SEAHAWKS AT DOLPHINS: WHAT WILL BE SAYING MONDAY MORNING?
"I was worried about this game, but there was no need to be. You gotta love Ryan Fitzpatrick's never-say-die attitude, but I can't help but wonder if he just started his final NFL game. After his two interceptions in the first half, and digging a 21-3 hole by half, I was half-expecting Tua to make his debut yesterday. But damn if Fitz didn't rally the Fish. He made it unnecessarily comfortable in the4th. But this was otherwise a convincing 28-19 Hawks victory... Chris Carson had two first half touchdowns, but running over people to run out the clock in the fourth quarter was the most impressive aspect of his 112 yard rushing performance... Quandre Diggs first interception of the year was huge but you had to love his break up of the pass to Parker on the 2-point conversion that could have put Miami within a score. Hasn't been a work of art so far, but it feels good to be 3-1."
When you close your eyes and imagine a Seattle Seahawks game against the MiamiDolphins, what you see might be fairly close to what happened in the 2020 Feltsulator Seahawks week four game in Miami. To describe the game as an offensive frustration would be an understatement. Chris Carson scored a touchdown at the end of the first quarter, but the game just traded field goals for the next 40 minutes. Late in the fourth quarter, Russell Wilson got injured on a run around the left edge, forcing Geno Smith to come in and throw a six yard touchdown to Will Dissly with four minutes remaining. TheDolphinsquickly answered with big passing plays, cutting Seattle's lead to 17-12 (two point try failed). And after getting the ball back with just over a minute left, Miami saw one last chance to come out victorious...
Tua Tagovailoa couldn't make miracles happen and the Feltsulator Seahawks move to 3-1 in the 2020 season with the 17-12 win.
Russell Wilson: 17 of 25 for 173 yards and 0 TD
Tua Tagovailoa: 14 of 25 for 200 yards and 0 TD
Geno Smith: 1 of 1 for 6 yards and 1 TD
Chris Carson: 30 carries for 90 yards and 1 TD
Matt Breida: 23 carries for 83 yards and 1 TD
DK Metcalf: 7 catches for 72 yards
Devante Parker: 4 catches for 62 yards
Will Dissly: 1 catch for 6 yards and 1 TD